One turntable, no microphone

I recently got the thought into my head that I would like to give record players a try. I think it stemmed from the fact that I was feeling a bit of a disconnection with my music. With everything being digital now, there is nothing tangible to associate with the sounds I'm hearing. What I like about records is the interaction. You pull out the big black disk, set it down on the turntable, and move the needle to your desired track. So much better than clicking buttons and skipping through tracks. And on top of that, you get the great full-size artwork that comes on the album covers. That sure beats some text on the screen.

I decided to indulge this notion by visiting a local record store, Twist & Shout. Its the kind of place you expect music to come from. It was filled with acres of new and used CD's and vinyl; mainstream to obscure; something for everyone. There were vintage stereo amps for sale and turntables along the wall to test out your latest find. I got the feeling that I usually get when I enter a bookstore and I want to pick up an examine every item there. But, alas, I did not. I had only intended to find a record or two that I really liked. It didn't take long before I had picked out 4 LP's and 3 singles and I decided to pay an leave before I started putting some things I own up on craigslist in order to fund my new habit.

After examining the contents of each package, the records sat in my closet for a few weeks since I had no way of playing them. This weekend I found some time to make it on to the local Goodwill circuit to search for my new turntable. I thought I was in severe danger of being disappointed; people don't buy many record players anymore so why would they give them away in great quantities. But I did spot one, only one, and it was quite a piece of work. It was built as part of a stereo system unit and so it had only a single propritary connector on the back. There were no audio outputs and there wasn't even a power supply in the thing. But for $7 how could I go wrong?

I got the thing home, chopped of the connector and spliced in RCA jacks for the outputs and dug up a 15V DC power supply I had lying around and wired that in. I fired it up, the lights came on, I got a nice hum from the speakers, but the table did not turn. The belt was gone. I could have tracked down a replacement, but then I would forfeit my goal of a cheap-as-possible record player. So I swiped some rubber tubing from work, glued it into a ring of the right size, and I was in business!

What a sweet sound I got, even from this cobbled together piece of junk. I love all the extras you get; the hisses, squeaks, and pops. It makes the sound so much more real and alive. What I love the most is the simplicity of the system. It's just a needle bouncing up and down on some grooves, a magnetic pickup creating an electric signal, an amplifier, and some speakers. It is so much more elegant than today's brute-force, over-engineered sound systems. I'm ready to grab a pair of headphones and disappear into a pile of vinyl for the rest of the evening.

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Soundtrack: The Blues Brothers - Soul Man

Better know your TLA's

That's Three Letter Acronyms

Part of the reason I moved to Colorado was for their sweet license plates. The gorgeous yet simple white mountains on green sky design is fabulous. I soon learned that even better than the design is the content. Colorado plates consist of 3 numbers followed by 3 letters. You may not realize this, but if you combine any 3 random letters you're very likely to spell a word or at least make a familiar acronym. Driving around town, I'm often left chuckling at the plates some people end up with. These TLA's can take on all sorts of meanings from hilarious (LOL) to frustrated (OMD) to exasperated (WTF). They can be toasty (HOT), cold (ICY), tall (MTN), small (TOT), affirmative (YEA), negatory (NIX), racy (TNA), divine (GOD), animalic (ASS), anime (DBZ), offended (HEY), welcoming (HEY), delicious (HAY), Yoko (ONO), and noisy (YIP).

Long I have awaited the day when I would join the ranks of those clever fellows with accidental words on their plates. That day was today. After yet another exceptionally pleasant trip to the Colorado motor vehicles department (I spent a grand total of 3 minutes inside) I was walking out with my own set of CO plates. Was I going to get something cool like ACE or DOG or CAR, or would I end up with something I'm ashamed to put on my car like FAG or LUV? Or, worst of all, I could get something totally meaningless like KKN.

The tension was high when I returned to my car and opened up my new plates. Before me I found:

PAM

Victory! What a glorious day! Not only am I in love with Pam (Beasley), but pam is also a non-stick spray! Its an acronym for Portland Art Museum, Pluggable Authentication Modules, and Prediction Analysis Microarrays. AND, if you read it backwards, it spells MAP!!! Finally, I can rest soundly at night knowing that my car is well-decorated in the traditional Colorado style; hilarity.

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Soundtrack: The Beatles - Polythene Pam

Elkd

 

Welcome to beautiful Estes Park and the umpteenth annual Elk Fest! Here, people gather from all over the world to frolic with the trained and tame elk of Estes Park, CO. Or so the public is told...

In reality, it is a breeding ground for all manner of elk-human related catastrophe. Tourists are lured with the promise of the "tamest elk this side of the Rio Grande." This is deceptive for two reasons: there are no elk on the other side of the Rio Grande and the elk here are wild animals.

The way I see it, this is an ingenious ploy conceived by the town of Estes Park to inflate both their tourism and hospital industries at once. Based on what I saw during my afternoon there, I estimate there are about 18 quadrillion goring/kicking/trampling injuries per season. People come for the frolicking; they stay 3 to 6 weeks for the gorings. Here is an excerpt from the Elk Fest brochure:

"Come visit Estes Park and see elk so tame that you can ride them like a toddler on a saint bernard!"

While I saw no such event occur, I did see several photographers get charged by a 800+ pound bull elk and even a few cows got rowdy. When humans and giant animals are in such close proximity, bad things happen. It was their land first and they should learn that we took it fair and square because we have bigger brains than them. Silly elk.

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Soundtrack for the day: 311 - Down

Through the Looking Glass

I finished moving into my new apartment today. Aside from the fact that it has a second bedroom, it is almost identical to my last place. Almost, except for one critical feature; it is a mirror image of my last apartment.

At first I thought it wouldn't be a problem until I realized that I had just entered bizarro land. Sure the layout is flipped. Sure I can adjust to opening the fridge on the other side and facing the other way when I sleep. But what they don't tell you in the funny pages is that not everything is flipped. For example, the hot water is still controlled on the LEFT side of the faucet and I still have to drive my car on the RIGHT side of the road (thanks for clearing that up, officer). I have to overcome the over 1 months of deeply ingrained behavior that I acquired in my last apartment. It may be no easy task.

Aside from entering a new dimension, the new apartment is great; the dining room is wider, I have a walk-in closet, and the view of downtown Denver is fantastic! I have decided that, after moving everything I own from place to place for the 3rd time in as many months, that I am going to live here for the rest of my life; or at least pay someone to move my stuff next time I go. Books are heavy.

On another note, I finally got a hit on one of my job applications; the first since I've moved out to Colorado. I have a phone interview coming up and hopefully all will go well. I'm tired of being a bum.

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Soundtrack for the day: J. Barry & J. DuBois - The Jeffersons (Movin' On Up)

Return of the Taco

A very significant event occurred in my life today. I was requainted with a part of my past that I once thought that, after much tears and anguish, I had said good bye to forever; the Burger King Taco. Often have I thought back fondly on those deep fried beauties with the imitation Kraft singles slice and the lettuce with just a hint of brown on it for character. I used to gobble those up off the value meal at 2 for 99 cents until one day they didn't show up on the menu and wouldn't return my phone calls. I was heartbroken and I didn't eat for close to a week afterwards, but all wounds heal in time and I got back on my feet.

Who would have thought that after that whirlwind romance and ensuing apocalyptic collapse that over 6 years later I would walk into a Burger King in Aurora, CO and see these words that made me weak in the knees:


2 tacos $1.39



I asked the guy at the counter if those were the same tacos that I used to know, and he assured me they were. And sure enough, when they arrived, we picked right back up where we left off just like old friends. It just goes to show you that sometimes life throws some pleasant surprises your way once in a while.

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Soundtrack for the day: Weird Al Yankovic - Taco Grande

Boulder Backroads

I completed the Boulder Backroads Half-Marathon today and it was quite an experience. The Pied Pipers at right started the whole thing off. The race took a peaceful route over dirt roads in the Boulder countryside featuring great views of the Flatiron mountains. Perhaps it was because the starting line was at an altitude of 5200 feet or that the first half of the race was a steady uphill climb of about 300 vertical feet, but this turned out to be my worst half-marathon showing to date. I came in with a time of just under 2:07; a 9:38/mile average. Considering the fact that I felt like quitting by the 3rd mile, I am quite pleased with my finish time.

There was also a full marathon at the same time, which I decided not to run. However, I did get to see Dean Karnazes as he finished running it. He's the guy running 50 marathons in 50 states in 50 days and this was his 8th.

On the drive back from Boulder, I couldn't help thinking of Forrest Gump and his mountain lake running scene. After I got home, I was laying on the floor and digging into my taco bell family meal deal to replenish all my lost calories, and providence must have been smiling on me as I grabbed the remote because Forrest Gump himself came on the tv. I was just in time to see Bubba get blowed up, Forrest's mamma get cancer, Jenny ditch Forrest yet again, and, finally, Forrest just felt like running. It was a great end to the day.

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Soundtrack for the day: Jackson Browne - Running on Empty