Elkd

 

Welcome to beautiful Estes Park and the umpteenth annual Elk Fest! Here, people gather from all over the world to frolic with the trained and tame elk of Estes Park, CO. Or so the public is told...

In reality, it is a breeding ground for all manner of elk-human related catastrophe. Tourists are lured with the promise of the "tamest elk this side of the Rio Grande." This is deceptive for two reasons: there are no elk on the other side of the Rio Grande and the elk here are wild animals.

The way I see it, this is an ingenious ploy conceived by the town of Estes Park to inflate both their tourism and hospital industries at once. Based on what I saw during my afternoon there, I estimate there are about 18 quadrillion goring/kicking/trampling injuries per season. People come for the frolicking; they stay 3 to 6 weeks for the gorings. Here is an excerpt from the Elk Fest brochure:

"Come visit Estes Park and see elk so tame that you can ride them like a toddler on a saint bernard!"

While I saw no such event occur, I did see several photographers get charged by a 800+ pound bull elk and even a few cows got rowdy. When humans and giant animals are in such close proximity, bad things happen. It was their land first and they should learn that we took it fair and square because we have bigger brains than them. Silly elk.

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Soundtrack for the day: 311 - Down

Through the Looking Glass

I finished moving into my new apartment today. Aside from the fact that it has a second bedroom, it is almost identical to my last place. Almost, except for one critical feature; it is a mirror image of my last apartment.

At first I thought it wouldn't be a problem until I realized that I had just entered bizarro land. Sure the layout is flipped. Sure I can adjust to opening the fridge on the other side and facing the other way when I sleep. But what they don't tell you in the funny pages is that not everything is flipped. For example, the hot water is still controlled on the LEFT side of the faucet and I still have to drive my car on the RIGHT side of the road (thanks for clearing that up, officer). I have to overcome the over 1 months of deeply ingrained behavior that I acquired in my last apartment. It may be no easy task.

Aside from entering a new dimension, the new apartment is great; the dining room is wider, I have a walk-in closet, and the view of downtown Denver is fantastic! I have decided that, after moving everything I own from place to place for the 3rd time in as many months, that I am going to live here for the rest of my life; or at least pay someone to move my stuff next time I go. Books are heavy.

On another note, I finally got a hit on one of my job applications; the first since I've moved out to Colorado. I have a phone interview coming up and hopefully all will go well. I'm tired of being a bum.

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Soundtrack for the day: J. Barry & J. DuBois - The Jeffersons (Movin' On Up)

Return of the Taco

A very significant event occurred in my life today. I was requainted with a part of my past that I once thought that, after much tears and anguish, I had said good bye to forever; the Burger King Taco. Often have I thought back fondly on those deep fried beauties with the imitation Kraft singles slice and the lettuce with just a hint of brown on it for character. I used to gobble those up off the value meal at 2 for 99 cents until one day they didn't show up on the menu and wouldn't return my phone calls. I was heartbroken and I didn't eat for close to a week afterwards, but all wounds heal in time and I got back on my feet.

Who would have thought that after that whirlwind romance and ensuing apocalyptic collapse that over 6 years later I would walk into a Burger King in Aurora, CO and see these words that made me weak in the knees:


2 tacos $1.39



I asked the guy at the counter if those were the same tacos that I used to know, and he assured me they were. And sure enough, when they arrived, we picked right back up where we left off just like old friends. It just goes to show you that sometimes life throws some pleasant surprises your way once in a while.

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Soundtrack for the day: Weird Al Yankovic - Taco Grande

Boulder Backroads

I completed the Boulder Backroads Half-Marathon today and it was quite an experience. The Pied Pipers at right started the whole thing off. The race took a peaceful route over dirt roads in the Boulder countryside featuring great views of the Flatiron mountains. Perhaps it was because the starting line was at an altitude of 5200 feet or that the first half of the race was a steady uphill climb of about 300 vertical feet, but this turned out to be my worst half-marathon showing to date. I came in with a time of just under 2:07; a 9:38/mile average. Considering the fact that I felt like quitting by the 3rd mile, I am quite pleased with my finish time.

There was also a full marathon at the same time, which I decided not to run. However, I did get to see Dean Karnazes as he finished running it. He's the guy running 50 marathons in 50 states in 50 days and this was his 8th.

On the drive back from Boulder, I couldn't help thinking of Forrest Gump and his mountain lake running scene. After I got home, I was laying on the floor and digging into my taco bell family meal deal to replenish all my lost calories, and providence must have been smiling on me as I grabbed the remote because Forrest Gump himself came on the tv. I was just in time to see Bubba get blowed up, Forrest's mamma get cancer, Jenny ditch Forrest yet again, and, finally, Forrest just felt like running. It was a great end to the day.

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Soundtrack for the day: Jackson Browne - Running on Empty