Congrats on your future union with Bobbie the
Bookworm—you two will be so cute together!
Picture it: riding around town in/on your ‘70s
Super Car with your pet Puppy in the back
barking at passersby. You’ve worked so hard
in your job as a(n) B-Movie Star that you’ve
saved up enough to spend your free time
Running Ultra-Marathons and buy a(n)
Apartment in London, England! Not bad!
But beware: Your in-laws are going to “drop in”
at least 9 times a year. When it’s your time to
go, everyone will remember the last thing you
said: “Draw!” For now, get out there and enjoy
a Single Taco + Naked Burrito Craft 2 at
Qdoba as much as you can!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
This is your life.
If you were ever a pre-teen girl, you remember playing MASH. I do/was not but I was playing a web-based version in an attempt to win a free burrito. You basically input several options for mate, job, city, etc. and this nifty tool determines how your life will end up. So, without further ado, I give you my future:
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Freedomburger!
A while back, I talked about my newfound love for the turntable. Since then, I've been slowly building my record collection. I tend to stop by record stores occasionally and even thrift stores, though they can be sort of hit or miss or miss or miss. However, on a recent visit to a local thrift store with my girlfriend, Mindy, I stumbled across this gem:
No, your eyes are not deceiving you. That is Freedomburger by the New York Rock Ensemble. At first, the sheer hilarity of both the album title and the cover artwork overwhelmed me, but I didn't want to waste my $1.99 on what was going to be, in all likelihood, terrible music (this was something that someone just gave away to the thrift store, remember). I hemmed and hawed for a while until Mindy finally convinced me to buy it. Who knows how or why. After carrying it around the store for bit though, I got to thinking: "Man, I love freedom", "What's in a freedomburger?", and "Why didn't Washington captain a giant burger across the Delaware?". So I bought it.
I got it home and threw it on the record player. In my head, I was envisioning some sort of American gastrointestinal disaster but I instead got an earful of some amazing vintage rock! I just had the great sound and songs that you feel like you've been listening to your whole life.
Currently, the full extent of my knowledge of the New York Rock Ensemble has been garnered from Wikipedia. The band was started by 3 students at Juilliard in the mid 60's and they were known for turning classical music pieces into rock songs and for using classical instruments in rock and roll. Sadly, Freedomburger was their last album. The one modern connection that was made to the band is that one of the founding members wrote the theme music for The X-files.
They recently re-released Freedomburger on CD so now you can head on over and check out some samples. My favorites from the album are "I'm Sending a Friend to You" and "Carry Me Up". I was so surprised by how much I loved this album. Perhaps it was because I went in with rather low expectations, or perhaps I should trust my thrift store radar more often.
No, your eyes are not deceiving you. That is Freedomburger by the New York Rock Ensemble. At first, the sheer hilarity of both the album title and the cover artwork overwhelmed me, but I didn't want to waste my $1.99 on what was going to be, in all likelihood, terrible music (this was something that someone just gave away to the thrift store, remember). I hemmed and hawed for a while until Mindy finally convinced me to buy it. Who knows how or why. After carrying it around the store for bit though, I got to thinking: "Man, I love freedom", "What's in a freedomburger?", and "Why didn't Washington captain a giant burger across the Delaware?". So I bought it.
I got it home and threw it on the record player. In my head, I was envisioning some sort of American gastrointestinal disaster but I instead got an earful of some amazing vintage rock! I just had the great sound and songs that you feel like you've been listening to your whole life.
Currently, the full extent of my knowledge of the New York Rock Ensemble has been garnered from Wikipedia. The band was started by 3 students at Juilliard in the mid 60's and they were known for turning classical music pieces into rock songs and for using classical instruments in rock and roll. Sadly, Freedomburger was their last album. The one modern connection that was made to the band is that one of the founding members wrote the theme music for The X-files.
They recently re-released Freedomburger on CD so now you can head on over and check out some samples. My favorites from the album are "I'm Sending a Friend to You" and "Carry Me Up". I was so surprised by how much I loved this album. Perhaps it was because I went in with rather low expectations, or perhaps I should trust my thrift store radar more often.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Sleepless in Southampton
(writer's prerogative; I'm actually near Oxford but that doesn't have the ring)
I'm just wrapping up another exciting business trip to the UK and its 2am and I'm completely wired for no reason. My flight back is at 7:30am which necessitated me setting my alarm for 3am (awake, shower, drive, return rental car, wade through Heathrow...) so it looks like I won't be getting much sleep tonight. This leads me to ponder my problems with jet lag.
On my several unplanned European vacations lately, my sleep pattern has gone as follows.
Night 1: Spent on a plane. Main flight duration about 6-8 hours. Lights on and activity on the plane for 2-3 of those hours. Day 1 I'm pretty wiped.
Night 2: Usually accidentally fall asleep at 8pm or whenever I get into the hotel because I'm exhausted from the long night before. Sleep great, wake up early.
Nights 3-last: Tired early, go to bed at a reasonable time, but as the days go on, I wake up around 4am for around an hour and this gets progressively earlier and longer in subsequent nights.
Return day: Wake up early, catch a flight, gain ~8 hours and have an absurdly long day. Turn into a zombie around 7pm back home. Literally. Eating brains.
Days back home: Wake up at 4am and get tired at 8pm. These get progressively later over the course of 3-4 days.
The primary question is, why do I wake up in the middle of the night while I'm overseas? This usually doesn't go away over the course of a week either but I get tired and wake up at the appropriate times. 4am in Europe corresponds to about 7-8pm back home. What is usually happening then that I so urgently need to be awake then? A follow up to this is, why do I not feel the least bit tired during the days when I have been awake for a sizable portion of the evening? Back home, if I don't get 8 (and preferably 9) good hours at night, its tough getting up in the morning and I often feel tired throughout the day.
On the plus side, all of the extra time awake lets me get caught up on my reading (What Would Google Do?, My Life on the Run) and movies (Hitch, Amelie, Up in the Air, The Informant!). It's like the universe is saying, "Here is some bonus time in life, but the catch is that it is dark out, everything is closed, everyone else is unconscious, and you're in an area that you're not familiar with. Enjoy!" Oh, silly Universe...
I'm just wrapping up another exciting business trip to the UK and its 2am and I'm completely wired for no reason. My flight back is at 7:30am which necessitated me setting my alarm for 3am (awake, shower, drive, return rental car, wade through Heathrow...) so it looks like I won't be getting much sleep tonight. This leads me to ponder my problems with jet lag.
On my several unplanned European vacations lately, my sleep pattern has gone as follows.
Night 1: Spent on a plane. Main flight duration about 6-8 hours. Lights on and activity on the plane for 2-3 of those hours. Day 1 I'm pretty wiped.
Night 2: Usually accidentally fall asleep at 8pm or whenever I get into the hotel because I'm exhausted from the long night before. Sleep great, wake up early.
Nights 3-last: Tired early, go to bed at a reasonable time, but as the days go on, I wake up around 4am for around an hour and this gets progressively earlier and longer in subsequent nights.
Return day: Wake up early, catch a flight, gain ~8 hours and have an absurdly long day. Turn into a zombie around 7pm back home. Literally. Eating brains.
Days back home: Wake up at 4am and get tired at 8pm. These get progressively later over the course of 3-4 days.
The primary question is, why do I wake up in the middle of the night while I'm overseas? This usually doesn't go away over the course of a week either but I get tired and wake up at the appropriate times. 4am in Europe corresponds to about 7-8pm back home. What is usually happening then that I so urgently need to be awake then? A follow up to this is, why do I not feel the least bit tired during the days when I have been awake for a sizable portion of the evening? Back home, if I don't get 8 (and preferably 9) good hours at night, its tough getting up in the morning and I often feel tired throughout the day.
On the plus side, all of the extra time awake lets me get caught up on my reading (What Would Google Do?, My Life on the Run) and movies (Hitch, Amelie, Up in the Air, The Informant!). It's like the universe is saying, "Here is some bonus time in life, but the catch is that it is dark out, everything is closed, everyone else is unconscious, and you're in an area that you're not familiar with. Enjoy!" Oh, silly Universe...
Sunday, July 12, 2009
I just saw somethg I've never seen before
A man standing at a urinal holding a baby.
Is that allowed?
Is that allowed?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Slappin' your troubles away
Every so often, a series of events in someone's life can occur to make them an internet sensation. Such is the case recently with Vince Shlomi. Most people would know him as the ShamWow! guy, but he has also been pitching other stuff on TV like the SlapChop. That's all great, but when pictures of your jacked up face appear in a mugshot after your fight with a hooker, you become a big celebrity. And if one of your infomercials just happens to contain the line "you're gonna love my nuts", the interwebs will be crawling all over themselves to parody you.
I came across this fantastic remix of the SlapChop commercial by DJ Steve Porter called "Rap Chop" (mp3 available on his site). Its pretty much just the entire commercial with a beat an an autotune added. I can't stop watching.
If this had been the original commercial for the SlapChop, I would now own 14 of them. I think I'm gonna play this song at my wedding.
Stop having boring tuna.
I came across this fantastic remix of the SlapChop commercial by DJ Steve Porter called "Rap Chop" (mp3 available on his site). Its pretty much just the entire commercial with a beat an an autotune added. I can't stop watching.
If this had been the original commercial for the SlapChop, I would now own 14 of them. I think I'm gonna play this song at my wedding.
Stop having boring tuna.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Pigeoned!
Not so long ago, I wrote a post about how totally awesome it is to see birds indoors. I am now retracting that sentiment (under certain circumstances).
I went into work one morning last week and one of my coworkers came up to me and said, "I hear you've got pigeons." Evidently, early that morning someone had been working in the lab where I was building my latest laser and a pigeon swooped down out of the drop ceiling, circled the lab a few times, and escaped back up into the ceiling. What the hell!
It seems that the creature somehow worked its way into the building through a gap in one of the outdoor light fixtures and had been wandering around above our ceilings for some time. It found a missing ceiling tile in my lab and decided to check things out. I found all of this rather amusing until I went into my lab and discovered the following.
It seems that on its sojourn through the lab, the pigeon decided to shatter my pair of laser goggles. Or should I say he shattered my NEW pair of laser goggles that I depend on to protect my fragile eyeballs from certain laser-induced catastrophe! So now, as they say, it is on.
I went back to business as usual until later that afternoon when I heard the sound that meant my revenge was imminent; a little flutter from the other side of the partition in the lab. I stuck my head around the corner and found myself inches away from a mad-flapping beast. At this point, some of the details of the events vary. Some claim that, after being nearly slapped in the face by an errant wing, I let out something of a scream or a yelp. HOWEVER, my story is that, when faced with my nemesis, I unleashed a thundering war cry that sent it scurrying in fear.
I plugged the hole in the ceiling, called in some help, and we chased the thing around the lab for a while until it got tired and crashed into a wall. The pigeon fell down behind some stuff and got pinned against the wall. We just reached down with a bag, grabbed it, and carried it outside. When the bird was released, he flew around in a big circle and landed right back on the building to let the cycle of adventure begin anew.
KM Lasers: Now with more Pigeon!
I went into work one morning last week and one of my coworkers came up to me and said, "I hear you've got pigeons." Evidently, early that morning someone had been working in the lab where I was building my latest laser and a pigeon swooped down out of the drop ceiling, circled the lab a few times, and escaped back up into the ceiling. What the hell!
It seems that the creature somehow worked its way into the building through a gap in one of the outdoor light fixtures and had been wandering around above our ceilings for some time. It found a missing ceiling tile in my lab and decided to check things out. I found all of this rather amusing until I went into my lab and discovered the following.
It seems that on its sojourn through the lab, the pigeon decided to shatter my pair of laser goggles. Or should I say he shattered my NEW pair of laser goggles that I depend on to protect my fragile eyeballs from certain laser-induced catastrophe! So now, as they say, it is on.
I went back to business as usual until later that afternoon when I heard the sound that meant my revenge was imminent; a little flutter from the other side of the partition in the lab. I stuck my head around the corner and found myself inches away from a mad-flapping beast. At this point, some of the details of the events vary. Some claim that, after being nearly slapped in the face by an errant wing, I let out something of a scream or a yelp. HOWEVER, my story is that, when faced with my nemesis, I unleashed a thundering war cry that sent it scurrying in fear.
I plugged the hole in the ceiling, called in some help, and we chased the thing around the lab for a while until it got tired and crashed into a wall. The pigeon fell down behind some stuff and got pinned against the wall. We just reached down with a bag, grabbed it, and carried it outside. When the bird was released, he flew around in a big circle and landed right back on the building to let the cycle of adventure begin anew.
KM Lasers: Now with more Pigeon!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Say What?
Overheard at Red Robin this evening:
I could not agree more.
"With a great moustache comes great responsibility."
I could not agree more.
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